No Cellphones!!

11:11 pm thoughts

You know what I want? Sitting in front of the table with foods of course and alcohol if possible. And just talking about each others life. No cellphones. Just talking.

12:12 Thoughts

Another blog about my thoughts? I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t know why. But lately I’ve been having so many thoughts in my head that sometimes. No erase that. Most of the times it changes my mood in an instant.
Sometimes I think my anxiety is getting worst. Like the fact that it can make me cry in an instant. I remember this one time. While I’m in Puerto Galera with my boyfriends friends (I haven’t posted any blog about my experience there) we were in this beach. After swimming the girls decided to try the inflatabble course I think that’s what they calls it. I didn’t want to try it. So I just sat at this chair. I didn’t know that my boyfriend’s guy friend did a time lapse video and I was in that video. Sitting for I don’t know how long. In the same place with the same position. In the time lapse it looks like I haven’t moved an inch. To be honest. I usually do that when I’m sitting in a chair. Just stares at nothing for how long. It gives me peace most of the times but sometimes it gives me thoughts that can ruin my mood. I don’t know. Staring at nothing for how long calms me. I can just do that 24/7. I know. I’m weird. But sometimes I don’t want to just sit there and stares at nothing because it gives me thoughts. Thoughts that hurts me emotionally. But I can’t fucking help it. Once I stopped doing something I instantly stares at nothing. That’s why I’m always holding my phone. Because I don’t want to be weird around people. I don’t want them thinking “what’s wrong with this girl? She’s been staring at nothing for so long.” It’s weird for other people seeing me in that state. I know. Because they already told me that.
How? How to stop myself from doing that? I want to stop myself from doing that. Why? Because I feel like when I started staring at nothing I just want to do it all day. It feels like something is pulling me to do that. Like my thoughts is separating me from reality. It’s like I don’t want to go back to reality and just remain in my thoughts. Weird. What’s weirder? Is that tears are rolling down my cheeks while I’m typing this right now. I really need to sleep. Just another random thought guys.

Dating a Gamer

11:10 in the evening thought.

Ever since I started dating I always told myself I will not date a gamer. Why? Because I don’t know how I will handle the hours and hours of them playing. But as my mom says “Wag mag salita ng tapos. Kasi kung ano yung ayaw mo yun yung ibibigay sayo”. Which now I believe is f*cking true. Why? Because I’m dating a gamer.